Intimately Conceiving the Child Of Change
By mike Ahuja
I seem to have notice, recently during these golden California sunrises, which seemingly produce tingling rays of a changing day. These days with so many people recently have been filled with the desire of adapting to a new something, in witnessing the birth of living in the new, and intimately conceiving the child of change only to stop to a halt and focus on wanting to get lost in the fields of our pasts for just one more time.
The fields of our pasts are not all the same, and not always do we accept those fields with the honor that we should, as I haven’t even come to terms with the truth of what fields I have rolled around in like a tumble weed playing chase with its own thorns in farm full of crowded winds, but regardless if you accept or not, your past, we always seem to want just one more time in that field. Our shadows will always linger over our shoulders, but for most this causes a painful sickness of affection, that we feed with addiction and vices.
But we want to play in that field one more time, for some that field is living in the realm of superficiality, flying around with broken wings like a moth flying into the brightly lit bulb with a burning sensation, sort of like people all around the world floating and flying their eyeballs into the light of the television only to follow the light of the microwave oven cooking their Celeste pizza dinner. We all have our addictions whether it be boozing, drugs, sex, shopping, eating, exercising, reading, writing, studying, working, painting, music, computers, myspace, facebook, masturbation, porn, procrastination, perfection, argumentation, and everything else in the world when you do something to excess.
I really don’t know if we have to change, if we have to leave these fields, or if we even have to attempt to intimately conceive the child of change that we are programmed by the mainstream media in believing that we need; a new brightly lit field full of butterflies and rose bushes surrounded with the nice and gentle bees that don’t sting you or my girl. I can’t enlighten you and I do not wish to try too, you may be obsessed with desiring to feel something else, but I wish not. Your vices, you wish they are routes to escapism but they will not really bring you to some higher state of being that you might be seeking. It doesn’t matter how much you meditate or how much you educate yourself, you will not be more than human, your vice is just your field so enjoy that field for what it is.
My field is when I close my eyes, than my visions of your beautiful smile and piercing eyes seem to make all my worries vanish away into a silent atmosphere. By closing my eyes from everything I wish to run away from, my visions of you start opening up much more and your voices start running toward me in these fields of intimately conceiving the child of change.
