Are you a “Realistic Romantic”?

Are you a “Realistic Romantic”?

Ever been in the situation of dating someone for a month, and than that person proposes to you? Do you believe love is something that comes natural or something you have to work at? When you want to share all your time with someone, do you feel that is love or obsession? Do you feel that it’s impossible not to fall in love with your soul mate or do you feel there are many right people for you out there in the world?

These are some of the questions to ask yourself, in route to determination whether or not you are a romantic or a realist. Most people seem to fall on one side or the other, occasionally venturing somewhere in the middle ground of cupids land. This middle ground is what my friend Janet Nam defines as someone that understands reality but has the ideals of and about love; a “Realistic Romantic”.

Wanting to believe that first kiss, that tightly held hug could be the last one, that feeling that nobody else around you exists, nothing else exists except your love for one another…well that’s a romantic. Playing it safe and only kissing and touching one another behind closed doors, for reasons of not wanting to make the people around you uncomfortable, or not really making an effort to hug every time you separate from one another, well that’s a realist.

There is no right or wrong answer with either approach to your relationship. Your ideology and philosophy in love and relationships is right no matter which it is, as long as you are honest and truthful to yourself and together. By no means is the concept of “Realistic Romantic” anything new, as people have been participating in this ideology for some time now, but there has not been a term or acknowledgement of this ideology of love.

Sigmund Freud was a “Realistic Romantic” and although he never really knew or connected the thoughts that he was, I am guessing he probably would have if he were alive longer. The reasoning behind my assumption is that being a “Realistic Romantic” means and deals with diving heavily into the issues of self thought psychoanalysis. Being a romantic is considered as being illogical, as a realist is considered as being logical, but the decisive rules of these are meshed together a “Realistic Romantic”.

In normal circumstances repression hides within the realm of unconsciousness, but in the case of a “Realistic Romantic” the ideals of repression become obsolete as the impulses of being a romantic are consciously present, visually controlling your mental state only to be in a battlefield of constraint with reality. This person will subconsciously perform minor actions and display traits of a romantic, but the extent of these romantic actions are subconsciously halted by the brakes of ego performing a reality check. That little control of stopping is a self-reassurance, and for the “Realistic Romantic” might initially feel like mental suffering but after applying words and conversation to the wounds, it is now transformed into pleasure.

In a narcissist approach the ego prevents this person from letting go completely in displaying the romance, but mentally the visual picture of this romance was created and lived into action, but in the reality of it, the ego stopped it from completion. The stop is to protect you from possibly looking unordinary, protection of the person’s life, family, community, culture, and friends. This person’s mind operates in a fashion that desire uncontrollable liberation with the person you love, but understand the responsibilities of the outside world, reality.

The “Realistic Romantic” is the new hybrid of romance, constant internal up and downs between romance and reality, mental happiness and suffering sadness, constantly thinking about all the romantic actions, plans, and situations that they are wanting to do for there loved one, and most of the time portions of those actions are done but never finished as how it was visually seen in the mind.

It is something new, but something interesting

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