Do You Feel Misunderstood By Your Partner?

Do You Feel Misunderstood By Your Partner?

 Sometimes we feel misunderstood by our gf’s, bf’s, husbands, or wives and this can put us in a state mentally that we truly do not desire. You may feel a sense of disappointment, or upset, or even dissatisfied because you are not able to communicate true feelings accurately to the one you love. Your partner is also powerless in understanding you, your mentality, your thoughts and more.

 This misunderstanding can drive to significant suspicions about the way your connection may turn out to be with one another. You may dread and fear that your partner will not comprehend you, will not be aware to your needs and wants, you may not sense compatibility with him or her, causing fear there will not be emotional satisfaction due to a lack of understanding.

 Reflect on the time that has gone by, and sailed away since you have started this relationship journey. If you journey into the past, realizing that you have not had deep talks, about deep feelings, and haven’t really spent enough time with one another, not just busy time, but real concrete time. The time that helps one another explore each other’s personalities, traits, and digging deep into one another’s soul, it may be natural. Without this sort of time it may be natural that there is a lack of understanding between the both of you.

 Before you do anything drastic, maybe let the clock strike seven a few more times, with more meetings taking place, before you make the decision that he or she is truly incapable of understanding you. If you feel, he or she cannot come to understand you for whom you are, than maybe your journey together is not the best journey for your soul.

 In addition, contemplate and reflect on your own nature. It can be very likely that your partner is having a hard time in understanding you, as you may be shy, or close yourself off, building walls, or not speaking truthfully about your own self. If you are building walls and doing this type of stuff, you will not reveal your true traits about you, maybe coming across as a moody time bomb that can blow any moment. These things will make it hard for he or she to get and understand you, and he or she will need more support from you to make things easier.

 If your partner does not have the maturity, intellect or sensitivity to be in an emotional, and deeply intimate and personal relationship this lack of understanding can be a run on sentence crashing into a real problem that lacks a solution. Sometimes our partners just have not developed the skills of maturity that measure and gauge insight on people and situations, and cannot feel emotions necessary for a deep relationship.

 I am not sure what is worse, but some times partners may not be proactive, not wanting or taking a tackling effort to know you more. He or she may just be consumed and worried about his or her own world, not even making the slightest bit of movement to display interest in getting to know and understand the person that you are. Your partner is selfish. You must talk to him or her about your feelings, if he or she displays signs of aggression or destructive behavior, and not accepting his or her lack of interest in learning about you, and does not want to change this either, well you have a decision to make. You must reconsider things, as this is not a relationship. You do not end things soon; you will enter a world of distress.

 Mike Ahuja

So, What are we? Dating or Boyfriend Girlfriend?

So, What are we? Dating or Boyfriend Girlfriend?

It seems like so many people have all these terms and definitions and rules when in a relationship from “dating” to “dating exclusively” to “going out” to boyfriend girlfriend” to “being together” and so forth.  Maybe it’s just me or does this sound confusing, how does one know what stage they are in, or what is the correct order of stages?  Are you allowed to go from “dating” to “going out” or does that violate the rules of attraction?

Having these sets of terms and labels, in a way kind of keeps adults in high school, or maybe I am just clueless but it seems like this fascination people have with relationship terminology takes away the passion and heated desire of emotion, I could only imagine kissing a girl or getting in heated emotional argument to stop and ask the question, wait dear are we “dating exclusively” or just “dating” cause I am so sorry if we are just dating cause than it was okay for you to kiss the other boy?

Now at what point in this concept of labels and terms, does love at first sight come into play?  Maybe these terms are for people whom don’t believe in love at first sight, this just an interesting topic that I think about and get frustrated when people bring things up of this notion.

For example here is a recent chat conversation I had that actually sparked me to sit down and write something about this:

Maria Sampson: the last two guys i dated for a year each. They weren't my boyfriends...though

Maria Sampson: they were just guys I was seeing

Maria Sampson: testing the waters...

Maria Sampson: I’ve dated a lot

Maria Sampson: but I haven't had many bf's

Maria Sampson: I give most guys a chance...

Maria Sampson: but when it comes to being my boyfriend...I’m super picky but not with dating

Of course I know these terms are based on the “committal” factor but what my point is how does one know when you have secured the next title?  Does one of you make a declaration or an announcement?  Is there a time factor involved, can “dating” expire?  Or does the boy ask the girl like in junior high, and say “I want to be your boyfriend”?

I always assumed, emotional, mental and physical actions expressed the stage of the relationship

But I’ve heard some of you guys and girls are like robots, and when you decide to be boyfriend and girlfriend it’s like you flip a switch and instantly allow yourself to have a more intense emotional and physical relationship just because of the sole factor of a “term” and “label”. 

At what point is it appropriate to bring up these relationship titles?  I am just curious cause I really can’t afford of losing a girlfriend due inadequate relationship title timing issues, plus I think my friends and Mom would tease me like crazy, and it would be a tremendous blow to my self-esteem.

At the end of the day, how you are imprinted on someone’s life and heart is the only true mark any of us leave on this earth, labels and terms shouldn’t determine your actions in a relationship, love should.

Mike Ahuja

  

How to Talk to Your Crush Casually

If you're planning on trying to talk to that person you have a crush on, these tips might be helpful.

1. Approach him/her calmly and use a simple conversation starter such as, "Hey, do we have math homework?" or "Hey what's up?" Talk to them like you would talk to your friends, only not in an offensive way.
2. If he/she responds, continue the conversation naturally. Let it end naturally, don't be worried about awkward pauses.
3. When it does end, depending on the conversation, say something like "Thanks" or "Talk to you later."
4. If he/she doesn't respond, they are probably not interested in you. While you could keep trying, the best option might be just to move on.
5. If you do want to keep trying, don't get on their nerves. Then they really won't want to be with you.
6. If the conversation is going okay, like with some smiling on his/her part and he/she is putting effort into the conversation (like talking at least a little--some guys aren't big on talking and some people -- girls and guys -- are shy until you get to know them well), be sure to say something like "Hey, my name is _______. What was your name?" and then leave. This will give them a name to put with your face and think about it, he or she has to know your name before they can really dream about you!
7. Make sure to not chicken out; it only becomes that much harder to you. Have faith.(:

tips

• Take a breath mint before talking to him/her. You don't want them to think you have terrible breath. (they will probably be turned off).
• Girls, don't apply too much make-up, you won't look as good and he might be turned off by it.
• Also, try to smell nice! It's all about the pheromones. If you smell sweet, their knees be weak. If you're not into perfumes/cologne, just put on deodorant. Just make sure you don't put on too much.
• The first time is usually the hardest. Each time you talk to that person after you break the ice, it will become easier and easier. Eventually, they should approach you as well.
• Girls, don't act preppy around them, that only turns them off...
• Talk about something that interests both of you. If one of you are bored with the conversation, it will probably not be a very good conversation.
• If you are a straight guy, don't look at her boobs. Look at her no lower than her chin.
• Never lose self respect. Never do anything that your not 100% comfortable with doing!
• Always look your best, especially for a first impression.
• Remember not to be too mean when you tease.
• Never tell a lie to make yourself look better; chances are they will end up finding out the truth about you and think you're a compulsive liar.

warnings

• The person you have a crush on may have a boyfriend or girlfriend. If this is the case, talk to them, but don't be too bold and ask them out, unless you want their partner to become very upset at you. If you let them see the good qualities in you, they may consider dumping their partner and giving you an opportunity.
• Be careful how and when you let them know that you like them. Don't be too bold. Basic flirting should get the job done to let them know that you are available.