“Escape Us Sleeping Beauty” (Part 4 of Free Writing Exercise)"

Continued from previous entry

I only saw sleeping beauty, but she was wide awake, her touch lit a rainbow across the snow capped mountains, only to melt the cold away, it was nice, and it is nice.  I’m so hard for her love.  Please.

I don’t believe that I saw sleeping beauty, grasp onto the changing dance moves of the samba in a state of reality, but that doesn’t make me mad at you, but she did samba in my fictional reality.  Sometimes the struggles fight far from the distant realism, from the waves that crash and break onto the plastic beach.  These waves are synthetic waves of love, or are they?

It seems like most of the world is filled with synthetic pleasures, but do we have to ride those waves in our boats, will the undertow grab our mind and suck us in with the current, keep us from seeing the sunlight of sleeping beauty, from her piercing eyes?  The sailboat took off, from the mainland, for a journey and destination out into the open.  She had this gorgeous green glow surrounding her and moving with the curves of her silky soft skin.  I knew these or understood the possibility of these visions being completely synthetic, but I could only hear one thing in my erect mind, although I could see hundreds and hundreds around, but my eardrums had only one focal point, that of sleeping beauty.

The orange sun started to play tricks during these synthetic waves, like I was walking the Las Vegas strip wasted on the hopes of winning the big one.  The boat came back to shore; sleeping beauty had little chimes beeping, all around her smile that kept twinkling like the stars that we all see, we see from all over the world, real or plastic, the stars shine always the same.

When the boat docked it was like a kiss good bye, but not a kiss to get away, but rather to sail further into the South American Sea.  As we had nothing left to play for, the plastic beach was completely color less, not even the Irish would occupy it, so sleeping beauty decided to make her new resting place in a new place, a place full of color and lots of lights, you could see the lights high in the sky on a jet plane.

To Be Continued….

“Escape Us Sleeping Beauty” (Part 4 of Free Writing Exercise) - "Love Sick Diaries"'s MySpace Blog | lovesickdiaries.com/blog.html

“Escape Us Sleeping Beauty” (Part 4 of Free Writing Exercise) - "Love Sick Diaries"'s MySpace Blog | lovesickdiaries.com/blog.html

“Escape Us Sleeping Beauty” (Part 3 of Free Writing Exercise) - "Love Sick Diaries"'s MySpace Blog | lovesickdiaries.com/blog.html

“Escape Us Sleeping Beauty” (Part 3 of Free Writing Exercise)

Continued from previous entry

She sleeps so calmly, lying there in quiet passion with her back exposed showing her freshly sun made bronze tan, her long hair blowing slightly with the ocean breeze, her red beaded necklace drapes her skin sensuously. She really can be calm when the atmosphere is calm around her.

Cleaning up, picking up, and packing up objects of affection together can be a time of rejoice and rejuvenation, collecting our awaken dreams. A little time away from an awake sleeping beauty, has only one obstacle, an obstacle of forgiving any apologetic sorrows, an obstacle of forgetting the pain, and an obstacle of relief.

She spoke to me in warm tones of rainbow colors that unleashed the energy once again; today I felt all aspects of sleeping beauty’s persona. In her arrival, her smile hit my soul and it was touching.

At one point during the cycle of the moon and stars, she asked me to protect her. To protect her from bites and pains of the devils clinching jaws, and I hope I tried my best. I so much hate to see her in distress; it brings tears into my heart.

You can be anywhere in the world, where languages of confusion play games with your mind but you always seem to manifest and think about one person. That person is usually your drive. Sleeping beauty is and has been for time after time.

What the fuck is passion fruit? Does it bring passion? Jail time brings me more passion, but what is this fruit. The great aspect of traveling into a world of the unknown is that you have no safety net, you have nothing, and you just jump head first into a salty sea with waves breaking violently upon your faces. But through those violent waves you come to realize, what travels are about, that is the importance.

Her smile, the way she turns, the way she sways her hips, it all just gives me energy to keep on tackling these new adventures. Drinking and laughing with one another in an open field, full of daisies, is such a perfect moment of togetherness, even if millions floated in the flowers.

To Be Continued….

“Escape Us Sleeping Beauty” (Part 3 of Free Writing Exercise) - "Love Sick Diaries"'s MySpace Blog | lovesickdiaries.com/blog.html

“Escape Us Sleeping Beauty” (Part 3 of Free Writing Exercise) - "Love Sick Diaries"'s MySpace Blog | lovesickdiaries.com/blog.html

“Escape Us Sleeping Beauty” (Part 2 of Free Writing Exercise)

“Escape Us Sleeping Beauty” (Part 2 of Free Writing Exercise)

Continued from previous entry

It came to me, during a bout of what was meant to be the conclude of a festive finish, but lightening struck down upon my soul, thinking the rain possibly pouring down, losing all sense of living in a first world society. I was afraid.

Fearing only the worst, why do our minds, seem to only manifest the worst, but when in most scenarios the worst rarely ever occurs. But like the norm, I reacted in the worst, dropping to the floor of the urine soaked thrash littered pavement that filled and drove the sin throughout the south American streets, what was done, was without the sun.

I felt like a lost dog, scrounging for a bone, lost from home, looking for my bone. Eventually I gave up my search in despair, being taken in, sleeping beauty woke up, to me shining a bright light of joy, her smile was like the sun, shining brightly, keeping me sane, she knew exactly what I was feeling, she came down from the sky, she said all the right things, she made it all go away.

It seems though, just as the breeze cleared, the pulse of sleeping beauty dropped as well, although my mind of fear has vanished because of sleeping beauty, now I sense some sort of distance of a cold shoulder as if a glacier starts to melt instantaneously, out of no where, she floods quietly, my mind with subtle stances of hatred. It becomes all so confusing in these times, not sure what it’s all about.

Attempting neutral chats of unimportant conversation, seems to only work in momentary fashion, a fashion that we seem to both agree is quickly going out of style, so I am not sure why I continue to push an effort, the result just equates the same.

Maybe my efforts, based on the fact or concepts of a dream, dreaming that I would never meet someone like you, in a world like this. I can have these wicked dreams, with my eyes wide open, while sleeping beauty sits in a blank gaze starting at the crowded streets, cars honking vicariously through our veins.

Out efforts with whatever it is we do, can only be kept going with failure or success, by our drive and determination, we all have our own; mine is sleeping beauty. Symbols of mixed meanings can cause someone to go crazy, but maybe that crazy is what I seek from sleeping beauty.

She sleeps so calmly, lying there in quiet passion with her back exposed showing her freshly sun made bronze tan…

TO BE CONTINUED

“Escape Us Sleeping Beauty” (Part 2 of Free Writing Exercise) - "Love Sick Diaries"'s MySpace Blog | lovesickdiaries.com/blog.html

“Escape Us Sleeping Beauty” (Part 2 of Free Writing Exercise) - "Love Sick Diaries"'s MySpace Blog | lovesickdiaries.com/blog.html

“Escape Us Sleeping Beauty” (Part 1 of Free Writing Exercise) -

“Escape Us Sleeping Beauty” (Part 1 of Free Writing Exercise)

Hearing the summer drops of rain all my life falling down, up, right, left and all around but still trying to decide what’s Real, maybe diamonds just don’t exist.

Not sure what’s gone wrong or just fearing not to call a sense of just to what’s right, only when things fall apart, do we look for in panic, justification. Maybe we can find real, in Rio…so we jumped on a jet plane and flew south of the boarder.

Sometimes we can be so blind to our issues, problems, and to our lives that we just block them from the perceptions of our visions. I wonder if that’s why people enjoy traveling, to mask the unhappiness of their current lives. To avoid any of the reality that manifest in the present, but the truth is, running from issues does not seem to silence them, only pauses them temporarily. So why venture on a journey of traveling? Well some people seem to say the beauty of the destination, but the irony is that most people don’t bother to praise the beauty within their own home; it’s just something to justify the travels.

There must be something, I am missing, well I suppose traveling alone for a moment can provide clarity if in short aspects. Traveling with one or more can strengthen emotional bonds with people quickly, it’s a journey together and, that is an experience you will have for eternity.

So maybe escaping sleeping beauty, is a travel to awaken that emotional experience with sleeping beauty, to unlock that smile that makes my world full of sunshine, so I let her fly off in a strange place, momentarily to fly back to the nest from sleeping beauty’s own journey, a journey of masks and chaos.

I am not fully aware of what traveling is about, but this idea is what seems to be the only valid and logical explanation, lol, well at least I am getting time to free write. Smiling to the notion and stepping away from the moments of everyday reality, hoping to search for a pause, to gain an understanding of what’s truly and deeply important in your life.

I sit still, hearing the samba drums play loudly but calmly, gazing at sleeping beauty, glancing over at her smile, as she rest behind the softness of a pillow in complete relaxation.

So traveling can be meditative, I’ve learned to understand, and motivate.

In our journeys, sometimes chapters of drama, pain, and violence occur. Sometimes these chapters can be catalysts for exposing much more important truths of symbolism, these chapters can foreshadow for the dreams and desires of the future.

TO BE CONTINUED…

“Escape Us Sleeping Beauty” (Part 1 of Free Writing Exercise) - "Love Sick Diaries"'s MySpace Blog | lovesickdiaries.com/blog.html

“Escape Us Sleeping Beauty” (Part 1 of Free Writing Exercise) - "Love Sick Diaries"'s MySpace Blog | lovesickdiaries.com/blog.html

Resolutions For The New Year Are For Idiots

Resolutions For The New Year Are For Idiots

Glancing into a window of the past year and into the glass of the new year is always a time of reflection upon one self, and upon the friends and family that you feel a constant contact with, and as you start that new year, you start that journey to fix and alter the ways of your relationships, careers, health, and happiness.

You know how some people create these grand and glorious ideas of a new years resolution, and they do it, maybe you, for just a few weeks or let’s get crazy and say a few months, just to stop cold turkey at continuing the resolution, only to ditch the idea all together until the next year pops up, just to make the same damn resolution. These new years resolutions are for idiots.

Happiness in your life is what’s most important and making a wholehearted conscious effort in achieving that is what truly is important as you glance through that glass window for what lays ahead in this coming year. One must realize that everything is connected by emotion and state of mind from your job to your relationship, it’s all bound by the same thing, you.

You control your happiness, you control the way you feel, you control your future, and you control you.

Erase your so called rules if you are not happy, if you do not remove those rules you will never be able to seek out the best things that will make you happy. If you are unhappy in one realm of your life, you will take that unhappiness into another realm of your life unconsciously, as some things we just aren’t aware of unless we press our faces against the glass, but if we do so, the image becomes blurry to a sense of blindness.

Focus

If you are unhappy at the place that pays your bills, quit, because that unhappiness will be brought forward to other aspects of your life, say if you have kids, you will present that work unhappiness towards them or just place it within their realm, energy and vibes may sound crazy but it truly exists, and if you don’t understand this you will never be happy. If you are constantly arguing with your “loved one” well you are not in love, but more importantly you will bring and carry that resentment and unhappiness to other segments of your life, you must breakup.

Find and figure out that root of unhappiness this year if it does exist and simply cut it away from your life. It will be hard at first but in the long run, you will gain that happiness or at least be staring out the correct window.

If this means doing something drastic like quitting your job and flying across the universe to the big apple, just do it, only you know, what can make you happy, it’s going to be a great year, so make it one and take a little walk each day as being apart of nature gives you a little peace.

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Are you a “Realistic Romantic”?

Are you a “Realistic Romantic”?

Ever been in the situation of dating someone for a month, and than that person proposes to you? Do you believe love is something that comes natural or something you have to work at? When you want to share all your time with someone, do you feel that is love or obsession? Do you feel that it’s impossible not to fall in love with your soul mate or do you feel there are many right people for you out there in the world?

These are some of the questions to ask yourself, in route to determination whether or not you are a romantic or a realist. Most people seem to fall on one side or the other, occasionally venturing somewhere in the middle ground of cupids land. This middle ground is what my friend Janet Nam defines as someone that understands reality but has the ideals of and about love; a “Realistic Romantic”.

Wanting to believe that first kiss, that tightly held hug could be the last one, that feeling that nobody else around you exists, nothing else exists except your love for one another…well that’s a romantic. Playing it safe and only kissing and touching one another behind closed doors, for reasons of not wanting to make the people around you uncomfortable, or not really making an effort to hug every time you separate from one another, well that’s a realist.

There is no right or wrong answer with either approach to your relationship. Your ideology and philosophy in love and relationships is right no matter which it is, as long as you are honest and truthful to yourself and together. By no means is the concept of “Realistic Romantic” anything new, as people have been participating in this ideology for some time now, but there has not been a term or acknowledgement of this ideology of love.

Sigmund Freud was a “Realistic Romantic” and although he never really knew or connected the thoughts that he was, I am guessing he probably would have if he were alive longer. The reasoning behind my assumption is that being a “Realistic Romantic” means and deals with diving heavily into the issues of self thought psychoanalysis. Being a romantic is considered as being illogical, as a realist is considered as being logical, but the decisive rules of these are meshed together a “Realistic Romantic”.

In normal circumstances repression hides within the realm of unconsciousness, but in the case of a “Realistic Romantic” the ideals of repression become obsolete as the impulses of being a romantic are consciously present, visually controlling your mental state only to be in a battlefield of constraint with reality. This person will subconsciously perform minor actions and display traits of a romantic, but the extent of these romantic actions are subconsciously halted by the brakes of ego performing a reality check. That little control of stopping is a self-reassurance, and for the “Realistic Romantic” might initially feel like mental suffering but after applying words and conversation to the wounds, it is now transformed into pleasure.

In a narcissist approach the ego prevents this person from letting go completely in displaying the romance, but mentally the visual picture of this romance was created and lived into action, but in the reality of it, the ego stopped it from completion. The stop is to protect you from possibly looking unordinary, protection of the person’s life, family, community, culture, and friends. This person’s mind operates in a fashion that desire uncontrollable liberation with the person you love, but understand the responsibilities of the outside world, reality.

The “Realistic Romantic” is the new hybrid of romance, constant internal up and downs between romance and reality, mental happiness and suffering sadness, constantly thinking about all the romantic actions, plans, and situations that they are wanting to do for there loved one, and most of the time portions of those actions are done but never finished as how it was visually seen in the mind.

It is something new, but something interesting

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Revenging The Static Of Love - "Love Sick Diaries"'s MySpace Blog | lovesickdiaries.com/blog.html

Revenging The Static Of Love - "Love Sick Diaries"'s MySpace Blog | lovesickdiaries.com/blog.html

How to end a crush, if it is just a crush

It was tough to figure out what I wanted to write about tonight, first I had the idea of pleasing my writing with making some sort of love list on how to reveal a crush but than I got scared cause I think it might be somewhat scary to reveal a crush especially if it were one that has lasted in such an entirely long amount of time.

Is there a time limit you can have on a specific crush? I don’t know, can and are you allowed to use a crush to get over another crush? These are the thoughts that have been consistently on repeat mode in my mind recently, and after some recent self-reflection; I have learned greatly that I have purposely jumped into obsessive love infatuations that have been specifically created on a sub conscious level with the absolute sole motivation to distract me mentally from another crush, or the main long lasting crush shall we refer to it as, how Parisian is that…

Should I reveal this main crush? Should I find and search out a new victim to crush on? Should she be single? Or should she be unattainable, so it extends the crush as now I have to chase and this furthers my amount of distraction from the “main long lasting crush”?

What would you do? How to just get over a crush?

The dictionary refers to a “crush” as being an intense infatuation that is just passing. Wow, what the fuck does “passing,” mean…. passing can be a lifetime in my book…

I would more so view a “crush” as a bittersweet period of time during which you are infatuated with someone you are highly unlikely to ever hook up with (but in your mind you must), eventually leading to a childish dopey ness snuggled by mild temper tantrums, when realization sets…(reality can come and go in spurts)

Regardless of the definition, I am sure we can all come to terms and somewhat of an agreement that a crush usually fucking sucks, and in ways the human heart seems incapable to deal with at times. Well it is either that or the heart has the kinky fetish of masochism, but with either route, I hear there must come a time when you “need” to get over your crush and move forward with your “life”. So if that time is NOW please continue to READ on.

Rule Numero Uno: Understanding What A Crush Isn’t

Once you realize and desire to get over a crush, you could see how easy it is to get over them. The problem is that most people make mistaken them for actual love when they start. We tend to often confuse these crushes as love-at-first-sight, when it actually isn’t.

Rule Numero Dos: Determining Whether or not it’s a Crush

Close your eyes and picture yourself, passionately kissing your crush. Did you wrinkle your nose once your eyelids shut, if so, the person you are crushing on is most likely someone you admire a great deal, but not someone you’d want to sleep next too? Or is it?

If you can imagine yourself kissing them, and imagine taking them somewhere highly public, but if you wrinkled your nose in embarrassment, this is someone you would love sleeping next to and having sex with, but someone you have no intentions to have a meaningful relationship with, (shallow you are)

Now close your eyes, picture saying, “I do,” if you burst into laughter well this is not Mr or Mrs Right and your crush is just physical.

Numero Tres: Dealing with the Results

If you are actually in love with the crush, congratulations! You do not have a crush, and therefore have nothing to get over. You may actually have a broken heart, which probably sucks a whole lot worse…sorry about that…oh fuck!!!

If you have determined that you do have a crush, you are now aware enough to realize that you are either not physically attracted to them at all or that you are but don’t give a rats ass otherwise, use one of these methods to get over it, (listening to Moby songs is not one of the methods)

-Picture making out with the person as often as possible, consider yourself cured when you been conditioned to gag upon seeing them.

-Sleep with them and get the lust out of your system, you’re likely to lose all respect for them immediately afterwards, and will now probably gag upon seeing them regardless.

IF THIS STILL DOESN’T WORK

Tell them about it

What keeps a crush exciting is the unknown factor, the moment you tell someone you have a crush on him or her, you make it a reality. Your mind is forced to change gears and deal with things like an adult, in real time. You can’t just tell someone you have a crush on him or her and then take it back, well not believably anyhow. Once you tell the crush, you place them in a position of responding on some level and to some extent.

Maybe they’ll proclaim everlasting love right then and there, or perhaps they will stare in horror, maybe curl in a ball and cry in an infantile fashion. Whatever they do, it will sober you up quickly, and the crush will either need to evolve into something bigger and better or cry itself out…either way you’ll now be over your crush.

But remember whenever you look at porn and you see your crush, and than immediately picture white picket fences…it’s not a crush.

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A fire without a flame is like an artist without a muse

Having a muse is not like having a wife, husband, boyfriend, or girlfriend; it’s completely different, it’s something much more chaotic and unconventional, it’s something that the ancient Greeks would refer to as the goddesses whom would inspire the creation of literature and the arts, a metaphorical rose stem that leads to producing the beauty through softly passionate knowledge that graces the mind of the artist; a muses affluence and companionship with the artist is the key to unlock the good life for the artist, the energy of the muse is a crystal clear compass that only views accuracy in pointing to the direction of ecstasy. She is just a gorgeous goddess that simply inspires…

Not knowing and understanding the reasons behind vanishing acts, of a muse, can be as if you are falling from a plane without a parachute opening, not even opening, just jumping without one wrapped around your back, holding your tightly lit beliefs, it can be scarier than the feeling of sinking slowly underwater, wanting but not knowingly how to swim up to grasp for your breath, for the air that inspires you to live, love, and create.

You can sit and ponder, with circles running constant laps within your mind, but truly focusing on your heart, only to contemplate untrue ideas that cause you to be emotionally unsound in such a loud violent way, that you just don’t want to believe, you force yourself with conscious attempts to close such passage ways that seem to be all so moist with desired inspiration but for some fucking reason, you just can’t seem to shut those doors, you wish your muse was like a simplistic fictional organized religion but it’s not that simple, as a muse is so much more powerful than god, so much harder just to tell yourself I don’t believe…a muse is the beat to your heart

But know one every talks about what if the muse doesn’t want to be the muse anymore, what if the flame doesn’t want to be apart of the fire anymore, and the flame just vanishes from the fire…does the fire have die, what does the artist do now, without the consistent blessing of the goddess? I think I may have missed this part in Greek studies…. what do you think, or maybe last night was just a bad idea…


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How to Talk to Your Crush Casually

If you're planning on trying to talk to that person you have a crush on, these tips might be helpful.

1. Approach him/her calmly and use a simple conversation starter such as, "Hey, do we have math homework?" or "Hey what's up?" Talk to them like you would talk to your friends, only not in an offensive way.
2. If he/she responds, continue the conversation naturally. Let it end naturally, don't be worried about awkward pauses.
3. When it does end, depending on the conversation, say something like "Thanks" or "Talk to you later."
4. If he/she doesn't respond, they are probably not interested in you. While you could keep trying, the best option might be just to move on.
5. If you do want to keep trying, don't get on their nerves. Then they really won't want to be with you.
6. If the conversation is going okay, like with some smiling on his/her part and he/she is putting effort into the conversation (like talking at least a little--some guys aren't big on talking and some people -- girls and guys -- are shy until you get to know them well), be sure to say something like "Hey, my name is _______. What was your name?" and then leave. This will give them a name to put with your face and think about it, he or she has to know your name before they can really dream about you!
7. Make sure to not chicken out; it only becomes that much harder to you. Have faith.(:

tips

• Take a breath mint before talking to him/her. You don't want them to think you have terrible breath. (they will probably be turned off).
• Girls, don't apply too much make-up, you won't look as good and he might be turned off by it.
• Also, try to smell nice! It's all about the pheromones. If you smell sweet, their knees be weak. If you're not into perfumes/cologne, just put on deodorant. Just make sure you don't put on too much.
• The first time is usually the hardest. Each time you talk to that person after you break the ice, it will become easier and easier. Eventually, they should approach you as well.
• Girls, don't act preppy around them, that only turns them off...
• Talk about something that interests both of you. If one of you are bored with the conversation, it will probably not be a very good conversation.
• If you are a straight guy, don't look at her boobs. Look at her no lower than her chin.
• Never lose self respect. Never do anything that your not 100% comfortable with doing!
• Always look your best, especially for a first impression.
• Remember not to be too mean when you tease.
• Never tell a lie to make yourself look better; chances are they will end up finding out the truth about you and think you're a compulsive liar.

warnings

• The person you have a crush on may have a boyfriend or girlfriend. If this is the case, talk to them, but don't be too bold and ask them out, unless you want their partner to become very upset at you. If you let them see the good qualities in you, they may consider dumping their partner and giving you an opportunity.
• Be careful how and when you let them know that you like them. Don't be too bold. Basic flirting should get the job done to let them know that you are available.

new site of mine

http://www.googlesearchresult.net

just did a little work on it now gonna run errands

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breakfest dec 20 2008

good morning

hear the mutters of a young child behind me in an unfamiliar dialect of some unfamiliar language all while thinking about the hard times of indie filmmaking.

what is this all for? i am waking up at the crack of dawn to go to the post office to send out quote on quote screener copies of love sick diaries to some quote on quote distribution companies

oh my lord this child diaper needs to be changed a few stops back

Interesting day

so today has been a very interesting with dim sum with my good friend rj and one of my muses thai. Now off to an xmas dinner with a great group of friends and I finally saw one of my favorite ppl angie trinh , my favorite person actually. Http://www.tenantplus.com is back up and running so if you need to find an apt this is the site. I will head to the masumi max shw after ....yes finally stepped away from the computer

Intense week

a company that I am part owner in http://www.tenantplus.com server crashed and godaddy was a pain in the ass to deal with is now back online thanks to lil vlad , big vlad, tim p and myself mike ahuja

good nite

Technology and Love: Text Message Relationships and Text Sex (Entry 1)

Technology and Love: Text Message Relationships and Text Sex (Entry 1)







Moving further and further away from the typical norm of dating in the fashion of taking either a girl or a guy out on a romantic dinner and than to the movies only to hope that the night ends with an embrace of your lips. We are moving further and further into the world of not just online dating but text message relationships. The interesting thing behind this is that both individuals have each other’s phone number but for some social preference, we choose to text rather than speak. Some studies show that people are afraid of speaking with their voice because that it might propel the relationship to terminate sooner than later. The interesting thing is that moving from sending messages on myspace to text messaging one another, not even ever meeting face to face it is possible to develop a very co dependent like emotional and mental connection. Let’s just say I know first hand and now after 2 years roughly should I take that plunge in meeting with this person or just let it continue for what it has been. What would you do? Relationships glued together by technology when in the area of sex, well this can be very erotic. Yes the physical component is not there in front of you but if you use your mind, you can see and believe everything. Sending text messages back and forth as each other pleasure themselves is becoming so much more common. It is creating a connection that can not go beyond the screen on your phone but this disconnecting attitude in the end makes you use your mind more than if you were laying naked on a bed together. I will go into more complex opinions on this in the next entry but for now I would love to get your feedback on my question.







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