So, What are we? Dating or Boyfriend Girlfriend?
It seems like so many people have all these terms and definitions and rules when in a relationship from “dating” to “dating exclusively” to “going out” to boyfriend girlfriend” to “being together” and so forth. Maybe it’s just me or does this sound confusing, how does one know what stage they are in, or what is the correct order of stages? Are you allowed to go from “dating” to “going out” or does that violate the rules of attraction?
Having these sets of terms and labels, in a way kind of keeps adults in high school, or maybe I am just clueless but it seems like this fascination people have with relationship terminology takes away the passion and heated desire of emotion, I could only imagine kissing a girl or getting in heated emotional argument to stop and ask the question, wait dear are we “dating exclusively” or just “dating” cause I am so sorry if we are just dating cause than it was okay for you to kiss the other boy?
Now at what point in this concept of labels and terms, does love at first sight come into play? Maybe these terms are for people whom don’t believe in love at first sight, this just an interesting topic that I think about and get frustrated when people bring things up of this notion.
For example here is a recent chat conversation I had that actually sparked me to sit down and write something about this:
Maria Sampson: the last two guys i dated for a year each. They weren't my boyfriends...though
Maria Sampson: they were just guys I was seeing
Maria Sampson: testing the waters...
Maria Sampson: I’ve dated a lot
Maria Sampson: but I haven't had many bf's
Maria Sampson: I give most guys a chance...
Maria Sampson: but when it comes to being my boyfriend...I’m super picky but not with dating
Of course I know these terms are based on the “committal” factor but what my point is how does one know when you have secured the next title? Does one of you make a declaration or an announcement? Is there a time factor involved, can “dating” expire? Or does the boy ask the girl like in junior high, and say “I want to be your boyfriend”?
I always assumed, emotional, mental and physical actions expressed the stage of the relationship
But I’ve heard some of you guys and girls are like robots, and when you decide to be boyfriend and girlfriend it’s like you flip a switch and instantly allow yourself to have a more intense emotional and physical relationship just because of the sole factor of a “term” and “label”.
At what point is it appropriate to bring up these relationship titles? I am just curious cause I really can’t afford of losing a girlfriend due inadequate relationship title timing issues, plus I think my friends and Mom would tease me like crazy, and it would be a tremendous blow to my self-esteem.
At the end of the day, how you are imprinted on someone’s life and heart is the only true mark any of us leave on this earth, labels and terms shouldn’t determine your actions in a relationship, love should.
Mike Ahuja
