I Miss You Calling Me From the Vent
Sometimes I sit calmly still in a surrounding vibe of constant chaos, hearing the sounds of nothing but birds, not chirping but of people vanishing loudly in a sea of incorrect beliefs, driven by the man made cult of the plastic atmosphere, most of you will drown in. Living in a storm, being swept up by material angels that preach forgiveness and peacefilled wet dreams, that are unholy but realistic to this constant chaos, we call society. Clinging and clanging to the nonsense that glues our hearts and souls together with each other.
WOndering why the nonsense glues our hearts and souls together with each other seems to be racing through my mind in a constant circle, going around like a pony goes around a horse track, it starts to make no sense at all. I have always believed that it's experience and communication that creates the thickness of glue, the more you have the stronger the scent of this glue, and the higher we could get with this strength, but maybe i am completely wrong, maybe none of this glue is glue at all.
Surving for some is in the hands of the glue, keeping things together is done by glue, pulling the glue apart can create issues that fall into cracks of brokeness, leading to nothing beneficial, but how do we keep this glue from coming undone. Sometimes the glue is simply the sound of a voice, and when that voice violently vanishes, we unravel into the unknown, it can be both good and bad, the confusion of this is why?
Some of us believe in out of sight out of mine, some of us believe out of sight more in mind, for those that need the glue to remain high, out of sight out of mine is far from home. Hearing that voice makes us stronger, but if the glue just starts melting away, applying more glue seems to only speed up the process of brokeness towards the end of the road. We can't rewind what we don't have recorded, it just that simple, so don't fast forward to something you don't know actually exist, just because it's in the script doesn't mean it made final cut.
enjoy your week
mike ahuja
Monday, November 15, 2010
Thursday, October 21, 2010
Why is it easier to forgive an enemy than it is to forgive a friend?
Why is it easier to forgive an enemy than it is to forgive a friend?
Pondering thoughts to this question, while being caressed by the dryness of rain drops that sprinkle little parts of potion that comfortably touch my southern soul into a soaking wet sensation of uncomfortable thoughts; but hold on those uncomfortable thoughts dance in our minds are nothing utter than real, even if they fade away at times.
I would be afraid if you didn’t cry you heart out at times, I would be afraid that you weren’t real, or weren’t real with me, with us, and the clock circles around with a constant master plan of the little and big hand chasing after one another effortlessly with attempt at meeting as one together, in bittersweet fashion. I want them to dance so badly together, like they once did before mankind created their prison which only confines us to measuring our forgiveness in constant reminder of how long something goes on for, both good and bad, real or fictional, but with friends not enemies.
I don’t want to be there to see the times in which we end up singing these songs that aren’t meant to be sung, and the crazy words that say nothing more than silence might say, but it’s like seeing the thunder, and hearing the lightening, don’t go away because sometimes what’s wrong is right and what’s right is wrong, you just have to trust in the chance of your heart. We all have our fantasies of purification, and I thank you for being mine, providing me a place to frolic into a garden of non-fictional emotions, taking me to a place you go where nobody else knows.
Looking forward into forgiveness gives the sky sunshine, and provides the honest answers to the questions that you might have been asking or seeking out in determination of what we all believe as being a sincere plan in freezing time and stopping the rain from drowning our heart and emotions. You know that feeling that you get with enemies, where did it all wrong? Well I hope you know, enemies aren’t real, they’re just games we play like the urges of buying material objects of sin that we all crave, just plastic desires like god and the devil.
Forgiving a friend is the hardest thing we can do, it’s much harder to forgive a friend than an enemy because it’s genuine, and it’s real. This moment of forgiveness won’t let go and will stick around with you until the day you die, but the tears will dry because that’s what forgiveness is, a napkin to wipe the tears. What’s real is friendship, and when you let someone go, and if there is a sense of return, well it happens to be one of the most genuine things we can experience. You can’t ask someone to forget but you can ask someone to forgive.
Mike Ahuja
Pondering thoughts to this question, while being caressed by the dryness of rain drops that sprinkle little parts of potion that comfortably touch my southern soul into a soaking wet sensation of uncomfortable thoughts; but hold on those uncomfortable thoughts dance in our minds are nothing utter than real, even if they fade away at times.
I would be afraid if you didn’t cry you heart out at times, I would be afraid that you weren’t real, or weren’t real with me, with us, and the clock circles around with a constant master plan of the little and big hand chasing after one another effortlessly with attempt at meeting as one together, in bittersweet fashion. I want them to dance so badly together, like they once did before mankind created their prison which only confines us to measuring our forgiveness in constant reminder of how long something goes on for, both good and bad, real or fictional, but with friends not enemies.
I don’t want to be there to see the times in which we end up singing these songs that aren’t meant to be sung, and the crazy words that say nothing more than silence might say, but it’s like seeing the thunder, and hearing the lightening, don’t go away because sometimes what’s wrong is right and what’s right is wrong, you just have to trust in the chance of your heart. We all have our fantasies of purification, and I thank you for being mine, providing me a place to frolic into a garden of non-fictional emotions, taking me to a place you go where nobody else knows.
Looking forward into forgiveness gives the sky sunshine, and provides the honest answers to the questions that you might have been asking or seeking out in determination of what we all believe as being a sincere plan in freezing time and stopping the rain from drowning our heart and emotions. You know that feeling that you get with enemies, where did it all wrong? Well I hope you know, enemies aren’t real, they’re just games we play like the urges of buying material objects of sin that we all crave, just plastic desires like god and the devil.
Forgiving a friend is the hardest thing we can do, it’s much harder to forgive a friend than an enemy because it’s genuine, and it’s real. This moment of forgiveness won’t let go and will stick around with you until the day you die, but the tears will dry because that’s what forgiveness is, a napkin to wipe the tears. What’s real is friendship, and when you let someone go, and if there is a sense of return, well it happens to be one of the most genuine things we can experience. You can’t ask someone to forget but you can ask someone to forgive.
Mike Ahuja
Friday, September 24, 2010
leaning into the shadows of stars
leaning into the shadows of stars
as i look up into the light of the brightly lit darkness of the night time sky, that graces the vast valley of the desert, in a mild tempature, i notice that things we have done merge together in the moments that we may not plan for. there are times in which you may not really understand your actions, desires, or words but the not knowing only ignites a reason in which one should strive to make a concious attempt to learn and understand rather than just accept at face value. Some people make belief in just brushing off and with effort make no attempt to understand with comprehension, but that only burys the past into becoming the future in a circular attempt, but rather step outside the circle and watch the roatation as if we were in space watching the gracious dance of the solar system. paying attention to the dance from the outside looking in gives you a sense of insight from at least a pinch of unbiasness, from this stance, you may start to conceive with infantile movements and thoughts, why you act, desire, or speak the things that you do, which connect the dots and spin the music that you subconciously dance in the movement that you do. sometimes the ANGEL, A person of great pleasure makes a blessing of hope when one grasps the moment of understanding, which hopefully leads to repair, as leaning into the shadow of the stars never felt so right.
mike ahuja
http://www.theolagroup.com
as i look up into the light of the brightly lit darkness of the night time sky, that graces the vast valley of the desert, in a mild tempature, i notice that things we have done merge together in the moments that we may not plan for. there are times in which you may not really understand your actions, desires, or words but the not knowing only ignites a reason in which one should strive to make a concious attempt to learn and understand rather than just accept at face value. Some people make belief in just brushing off and with effort make no attempt to understand with comprehension, but that only burys the past into becoming the future in a circular attempt, but rather step outside the circle and watch the roatation as if we were in space watching the gracious dance of the solar system. paying attention to the dance from the outside looking in gives you a sense of insight from at least a pinch of unbiasness, from this stance, you may start to conceive with infantile movements and thoughts, why you act, desire, or speak the things that you do, which connect the dots and spin the music that you subconciously dance in the movement that you do. sometimes the ANGEL, A person of great pleasure makes a blessing of hope when one grasps the moment of understanding, which hopefully leads to repair, as leaning into the shadow of the stars never felt so right.
mike ahuja
http://www.theolagroup.com
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
the ARTIST desires A muse NOT A spouse
the ARTIST desires A muse NOT A spouse
Genuine muses remain dreams eternally but for the artists that bond them to probing drudgery, A muse is nothing more than that of a reflection, distilled in mirrored monitors of the artist’s wishes, nervous ticks, thoughts and wants. Habitually the Muse will not act in response to straight and rational and consistent desires. She should be enticed with the lighthearted and good-natured moments that you have together.
Many artists, writers, poets and musicians have said that an individual whom they refer to as their muse has inspired their creative work. A muse is someone who has such a great influence on another that he or she becomes the focus and inspiration for that person's creative work and point of interest in living. Men to describe the women that they have been in love with and made the subject of their work have historically used the term, but may be married or in a “relationship” with another. George Harrison and Eric Clapton had the same muse at one point.
A muse is more powerful than Jesus, God, Mohamed, any religious figure, if the muse loves a man, then the man's worries instantly disappear. The artist whom is loved by a muse is considering being more sacred than a holy person.
Without muses Picasso would seize to exist, John Lennon’s solo career would have been nothing without Yoko. Gathering of that powerful energy when around that specific person can possibly mean that it is your muse, if inspiration is not wrecked, it’s with everything you have done or plan to do, if she is a CATALYST FOR CHANGE, she is a muse.
Commonly the muse flourishes with worship to impose pain, as she is born in pain, and it is the artist’s primary job to care for her, the muse, to nurture her because losing her means to go under an enormous arrangement. As an artist with a muse you are either connecting with your muse, or dealing with your demons, so remember that she only shoots you with insight, if you are suspecting so.
Let her have the mornings, it’s a muses favorite time, because in the moonlight when all the stars are sparkling in still moments of desire, but you have not passion or energy to write or paint or play guitar, brushing your teeth getting ready for bed, she speaks in a vent to you, even if she is unhappy, her words are like a kiss fueled with passionate energy, that inspires you to stay awake until the sunrises, she is a CATALYST FOR CHANGE, she is a muse.
Mike Ahuja
Visit http://www.lovesickdiaries.com
Genuine muses remain dreams eternally but for the artists that bond them to probing drudgery, A muse is nothing more than that of a reflection, distilled in mirrored monitors of the artist’s wishes, nervous ticks, thoughts and wants. Habitually the Muse will not act in response to straight and rational and consistent desires. She should be enticed with the lighthearted and good-natured moments that you have together.
Many artists, writers, poets and musicians have said that an individual whom they refer to as their muse has inspired their creative work. A muse is someone who has such a great influence on another that he or she becomes the focus and inspiration for that person's creative work and point of interest in living. Men to describe the women that they have been in love with and made the subject of their work have historically used the term, but may be married or in a “relationship” with another. George Harrison and Eric Clapton had the same muse at one point.
A muse is more powerful than Jesus, God, Mohamed, any religious figure, if the muse loves a man, then the man's worries instantly disappear. The artist whom is loved by a muse is considering being more sacred than a holy person.
Without muses Picasso would seize to exist, John Lennon’s solo career would have been nothing without Yoko. Gathering of that powerful energy when around that specific person can possibly mean that it is your muse, if inspiration is not wrecked, it’s with everything you have done or plan to do, if she is a CATALYST FOR CHANGE, she is a muse.
Commonly the muse flourishes with worship to impose pain, as she is born in pain, and it is the artist’s primary job to care for her, the muse, to nurture her because losing her means to go under an enormous arrangement. As an artist with a muse you are either connecting with your muse, or dealing with your demons, so remember that she only shoots you with insight, if you are suspecting so.
Let her have the mornings, it’s a muses favorite time, because in the moonlight when all the stars are sparkling in still moments of desire, but you have not passion or energy to write or paint or play guitar, brushing your teeth getting ready for bed, she speaks in a vent to you, even if she is unhappy, her words are like a kiss fueled with passionate energy, that inspires you to stay awake until the sunrises, she is a CATALYST FOR CHANGE, she is a muse.
Mike Ahuja
Visit http://www.lovesickdiaries.com
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
SHINING MY SHOES WITH HER ONE WORD
The sunshine peaks through the cracks of the open windows, glaring down upon our dimly lit faces only to expose the precious moments, of our awakening from our SWEET SLEEP DREAMS, and the feelings we develop from living and leaving the escapism of sin. Sometimes emotions can rapidly change in alterating states with just one word, from being in the thought process of sorrow and anger, to hearing just one sweet word dance off the tip of her sweet tongue gracing the soft nuture of her tasty lips, and the sound bouncing off of her cute little nose, just one word has altered the prose of this passage.
thanks...
Noticing the solitude of hookers and whores, germans and japs, jews and muslims, americans and canadians, and all others that stroll through the confines of the smoke filled casinos filled with an excess of positivity filled dreams of hope to win big, to hit the jackpot special of never having to work again for the remainder of ones life. It's kind of sickening to notice so much dreams of positivity soaked in a greed filled stench of human fucking nature, kind of makes me want to become a negative bastard.
The thing is though, like with her one word, there is so much beauty in this atmosphere, so much beauty when you sit and actually pay attention, yes the uglyness is a no brainner and any moron could point out the greed aspect of starving money hungry people, but there is so much more.
Sometimes when we our straightforward with for example our muses, or when we strive to gain and gather attention from them, and we get absolutely no response, we jump higher and strive for even more attention to point of coming off as simply, plainly clothed crazed little boys, but the wierd thing is sometimes when the situation is thrown into reverse gear, we make a full on effort to avoid the attention she gives, to not want to hear the words roll off the tip of her sweet tongue gracing the soft nuture of her tasty lips, and the sound bouncing off of her cute little nose, we may sometimes just want to zip her lips shut, cut her tongue, and plug her nose, in confining all possible attention. (these times are usually very rare i would imagine from my personal situations but whom doesn't get a little crazy sometimes)
The important thing is to try and make at least an attempt to take notice of your surroundings, your actions, and your atmosphere, whether it be the sounds of the clinging around your heart to the birds chirping in your dream state, it can happen to you or me it's finally hard to describe it, but the beauty in a situation.
The beauty of this situation, is that like in life like so ever present in a casino is the philosophy of gambling, this philosophy is such a beautiful situation, that beauty when two souls press lips for the first time, who couldn't like it, and if you don't, it really doesn't matter...turn your lights on to the idea of what feels so right, and not so wrong!!!!
BET BIG, WIN BIG...WITH EVERYTHING IN LIFE...IT FEELS SO WRONG BUT IT FEELS SO RIGHT, IT'S WHAT SWEET DREAMS ARE MADE OF AND WE ALL OUR LOOKING FOR THEM, SO WHO ARE YOU TO DISAGREE in the idea of going big to win big.
Mike Ahuja
thanks...
Noticing the solitude of hookers and whores, germans and japs, jews and muslims, americans and canadians, and all others that stroll through the confines of the smoke filled casinos filled with an excess of positivity filled dreams of hope to win big, to hit the jackpot special of never having to work again for the remainder of ones life. It's kind of sickening to notice so much dreams of positivity soaked in a greed filled stench of human fucking nature, kind of makes me want to become a negative bastard.
The thing is though, like with her one word, there is so much beauty in this atmosphere, so much beauty when you sit and actually pay attention, yes the uglyness is a no brainner and any moron could point out the greed aspect of starving money hungry people, but there is so much more.
Sometimes when we our straightforward with for example our muses, or when we strive to gain and gather attention from them, and we get absolutely no response, we jump higher and strive for even more attention to point of coming off as simply, plainly clothed crazed little boys, but the wierd thing is sometimes when the situation is thrown into reverse gear, we make a full on effort to avoid the attention she gives, to not want to hear the words roll off the tip of her sweet tongue gracing the soft nuture of her tasty lips, and the sound bouncing off of her cute little nose, we may sometimes just want to zip her lips shut, cut her tongue, and plug her nose, in confining all possible attention. (these times are usually very rare i would imagine from my personal situations but whom doesn't get a little crazy sometimes)
The important thing is to try and make at least an attempt to take notice of your surroundings, your actions, and your atmosphere, whether it be the sounds of the clinging around your heart to the birds chirping in your dream state, it can happen to you or me it's finally hard to describe it, but the beauty in a situation.
The beauty of this situation, is that like in life like so ever present in a casino is the philosophy of gambling, this philosophy is such a beautiful situation, that beauty when two souls press lips for the first time, who couldn't like it, and if you don't, it really doesn't matter...turn your lights on to the idea of what feels so right, and not so wrong!!!!
BET BIG, WIN BIG...WITH EVERYTHING IN LIFE...IT FEELS SO WRONG BUT IT FEELS SO RIGHT, IT'S WHAT SWEET DREAMS ARE MADE OF AND WE ALL OUR LOOKING FOR THEM, SO WHO ARE YOU TO DISAGREE in the idea of going big to win big.
Mike Ahuja
Monday, June 28, 2010
Sunday, June 6, 2010
Dark Sunshine of an Emotional Hero
Dark Sunshine of an Emotional Hero
By Mike Ahuja
Sometimes we all approach the fluctuating in and out of emotional states of mind, questioning our own sanity, thinking if this ping pong table of emotion is a pattern of the norm, or if we only have our hands tied behind our back in a submissive state of solitude from the rest of the human race, feeling that we could never be heroes, only arriving to the assumption that we do need heroes to save us from this unstable pattern of emotion.
The thing is we are all like this, we all go through ups and downs emotionally, constantly changing from one month to the next, from one week to the next, from one day to the next, and even for some from one hour to the next, and maybe if your emotional patterns do not rotate, than is that insanity?
You can’t be happy everyday; it just doesn’t make sense…
What seems to be so great about these emotional fluctuations, is that we tend to seek and search out something or someone that has that extreme power to alter these moods and emotional states, some people go on searching even until death and still are unable to find that “emotional hero” one could consider calling it. When you do finally find this “emotional hero” you can’t let go, you must hold on tightly.
How do you know when you do find an “emotional hero”?
You just kind of know when you have found this thing or person, cause you could be having a shitty suicidal type of day, hating every fucking thing around, but than it’s crazy how one smile, can make all of life’s complications fade away, like with me for example, this one girl, her smile, her voice, her presence, and the soft touch of her skin touching my skin just brings me back in one turn to the good state. She is my “emotional hero” and it’s just something you know, you have got to pay attention to; to your mind and to your heart to really be able to notice.
You have to realize complications are everywhere in life, but you got to realize what levels you back out so that you can truly deal with these complications in a calm and stress free manner and ability. Finding your “emotional hero” will make living life much more enjoyable, I promise you. Make it your duty to find you “emotional hero”.
Sharing is sometimes uncommon…
Fuck it’s hard not to fall in love with an “emotional hero,” I mean this person or thing is like a damn drug, like Prozac without the side effects, all organic, but you have to be okay with the dark sunshine and understanding the acceptance reciprocal behavior that may not exist, with your “emotional hero”. Your hero maybe love with someone other than you, and that someone may not give a shit about your “emotional hero,” causing you sorrow and pain, but without that sorrow and pain, you may not have joy and happiness. Sometimes even worse is when your “emotional hero” comprehends this beautiful ability but just rather not acknowledges it, or just does not really care. You have to remember what’s best for your emotional state in the end.
My mind is now getting cloud from the dark sunshine that is starting to raise from the brightly lit moon lit sky, I must rest my mind from putting words to paper, search and never give up until your find what it is that makes you sane.
Sunday, May 23, 2010
Intimately Conceiving the Child Of Change - "Love Sick Diaries"'s MySpace Blog | lovesickdiaries.com/blog.html
Intimately Conceiving the Child Of Change
By mike Ahuja
I seem to have notice, recently during these golden California sunrises, which seemingly produce tingling rays of a changing day. These days with so many people recently have been filled with the desire of adapting to a new something, in witnessing the birth of living in the new, and intimately conceiving the child of change only to stop to a halt and focus on wanting to get lost in the fields of our pasts for just one more time.
The fields of our pasts are not all the same, and not always do we accept those fields with the honor that we should, as I haven’t even come to terms with the truth of what fields I have rolled around in like a tumble weed playing chase with its own thorns in farm full of crowded winds, but regardless if you accept or not, your past, we always seem to want just one more time in that field. Our shadows will always linger over our shoulders, but for most this causes a painful sickness of affection, that we feed with addiction and vices.
But we want to play in that field one more time, for some that field is living in the realm of superficiality, flying around with broken wings like a moth flying into the brightly lit bulb with a burning sensation, sort of like people all around the world floating and flying their eyeballs into the light of the television only to follow the light of the microwave oven cooking their Celeste pizza dinner. We all have our addictions whether it be boozing, drugs, sex, shopping, eating, exercising, reading, writing, studying, working, painting, music, computers, myspace, facebook, masturbation, porn, procrastination, perfection, argumentation, and everything else in the world when you do something to excess.
I really don’t know if we have to change, if we have to leave these fields, or if we even have to attempt to intimately conceive the child of change that we are programmed by the mainstream media in believing that we need; a new brightly lit field full of butterflies and rose bushes surrounded with the nice and gentle bees that don’t sting you or my girl. I can’t enlighten you and I do not wish to try too, you may be obsessed with desiring to feel something else, but I wish not. Your vices, you wish they are routes to escapism but they will not really bring you to some higher state of being that you might be seeking. It doesn’t matter how much you meditate or how much you educate yourself, you will not be more than human, your vice is just your field so enjoy that field for what it is.
My field is when I close my eyes, than my visions of your beautiful smile and piercing eyes seem to make all my worries vanish away into a silent atmosphere. By closing my eyes from everything I wish to run away from, my visions of you start opening up much more and your voices start running toward me in these fields of intimately conceiving the child of change.
Friday, March 19, 2010
“Escape Us Sleeping Beauty” (Part 4 of Free Writing Exercise)"
Continued from previous entry
I only saw sleeping beauty, but she was wide awake, her touch lit a rainbow across the snow capped mountains, only to melt the cold away, it was nice, and it is nice. I’m so hard for her love. Please.
I don’t believe that I saw sleeping beauty, grasp onto the changing dance moves of the samba in a state of reality, but that doesn’t make me mad at you, but she did samba in my fictional reality. Sometimes the struggles fight far from the distant realism, from the waves that crash and break onto the plastic beach. These waves are synthetic waves of love, or are they?
It seems like most of the world is filled with synthetic pleasures, but do we have to ride those waves in our boats, will the undertow grab our mind and suck us in with the current, keep us from seeing the sunlight of sleeping beauty, from her piercing eyes? The sailboat took off, from the mainland, for a journey and destination out into the open. She had this gorgeous green glow surrounding her and moving with the curves of her silky soft skin. I knew these or understood the possibility of these visions being completely synthetic, but I could only hear one thing in my erect mind, although I could see hundreds and hundreds around, but my eardrums had only one focal point, that of sleeping beauty.
The orange sun started to play tricks during these synthetic waves, like I was walking the Las Vegas strip wasted on the hopes of winning the big one. The boat came back to shore; sleeping beauty had little chimes beeping, all around her smile that kept twinkling like the stars that we all see, we see from all over the world, real or plastic, the stars shine always the same.
When the boat docked it was like a kiss good bye, but not a kiss to get away, but rather to sail further into the South American Sea. As we had nothing left to play for, the plastic beach was completely color less, not even the Irish would occupy it, so sleeping beauty decided to make her new resting place in a new place, a place full of color and lots of lights, you could see the lights high in the sky on a jet plane.
To Be Continued….
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
“Escape Us Sleeping Beauty” (Part 3 of Free Writing Exercise) - "Love Sick Diaries"'s MySpace Blog | lovesickdiaries.com/blog.html
“Escape Us Sleeping Beauty” (Part 3 of Free Writing Exercise)
Continued from previous entry
She sleeps so calmly, lying there in quiet passion with her back exposed showing her freshly sun made bronze tan, her long hair blowing slightly with the ocean breeze, her red beaded necklace drapes her skin sensuously. She really can be calm when the atmosphere is calm around her.
Cleaning up, picking up, and packing up objects of affection together can be a time of rejoice and rejuvenation, collecting our awaken dreams. A little time away from an awake sleeping beauty, has only one obstacle, an obstacle of forgiving any apologetic sorrows, an obstacle of forgetting the pain, and an obstacle of relief.
She spoke to me in warm tones of rainbow colors that unleashed the energy once again; today I felt all aspects of sleeping beauty’s persona. In her arrival, her smile hit my soul and it was touching.
At one point during the cycle of the moon and stars, she asked me to protect her. To protect her from bites and pains of the devils clinching jaws, and I hope I tried my best. I so much hate to see her in distress; it brings tears into my heart.
You can be anywhere in the world, where languages of confusion play games with your mind but you always seem to manifest and think about one person. That person is usually your drive. Sleeping beauty is and has been for time after time.
What the fuck is passion fruit? Does it bring passion? Jail time brings me more passion, but what is this fruit. The great aspect of traveling into a world of the unknown is that you have no safety net, you have nothing, and you just jump head first into a salty sea with waves breaking violently upon your faces. But through those violent waves you come to realize, what travels are about, that is the importance.
Her smile, the way she turns, the way she sways her hips, it all just gives me energy to keep on tackling these new adventures. Drinking and laughing with one another in an open field, full of daisies, is such a perfect moment of togetherness, even if millions floated in the flowers.
To Be Continued….
Continued from previous entry
She sleeps so calmly, lying there in quiet passion with her back exposed showing her freshly sun made bronze tan, her long hair blowing slightly with the ocean breeze, her red beaded necklace drapes her skin sensuously. She really can be calm when the atmosphere is calm around her.
Cleaning up, picking up, and packing up objects of affection together can be a time of rejoice and rejuvenation, collecting our awaken dreams. A little time away from an awake sleeping beauty, has only one obstacle, an obstacle of forgiving any apologetic sorrows, an obstacle of forgetting the pain, and an obstacle of relief.
She spoke to me in warm tones of rainbow colors that unleashed the energy once again; today I felt all aspects of sleeping beauty’s persona. In her arrival, her smile hit my soul and it was touching.
At one point during the cycle of the moon and stars, she asked me to protect her. To protect her from bites and pains of the devils clinching jaws, and I hope I tried my best. I so much hate to see her in distress; it brings tears into my heart.
You can be anywhere in the world, where languages of confusion play games with your mind but you always seem to manifest and think about one person. That person is usually your drive. Sleeping beauty is and has been for time after time.
What the fuck is passion fruit? Does it bring passion? Jail time brings me more passion, but what is this fruit. The great aspect of traveling into a world of the unknown is that you have no safety net, you have nothing, and you just jump head first into a salty sea with waves breaking violently upon your faces. But through those violent waves you come to realize, what travels are about, that is the importance.
Her smile, the way she turns, the way she sways her hips, it all just gives me energy to keep on tackling these new adventures. Drinking and laughing with one another in an open field, full of daisies, is such a perfect moment of togetherness, even if millions floated in the flowers.
To Be Continued….
Monday, March 1, 2010
“Escape Us Sleeping Beauty” (Part 2 of Free Writing Exercise)
“Escape Us Sleeping Beauty” (Part 2 of Free Writing Exercise)
Continued from previous entry
It came to me, during a bout of what was meant to be the conclude of a festive finish, but lightening struck down upon my soul, thinking the rain possibly pouring down, losing all sense of living in a first world society. I was afraid.
Fearing only the worst, why do our minds, seem to only manifest the worst, but when in most scenarios the worst rarely ever occurs. But like the norm, I reacted in the worst, dropping to the floor of the urine soaked thrash littered pavement that filled and drove the sin throughout the south American streets, what was done, was without the sun.
I felt like a lost dog, scrounging for a bone, lost from home, looking for my bone. Eventually I gave up my search in despair, being taken in, sleeping beauty woke up, to me shining a bright light of joy, her smile was like the sun, shining brightly, keeping me sane, she knew exactly what I was feeling, she came down from the sky, she said all the right things, she made it all go away.
It seems though, just as the breeze cleared, the pulse of sleeping beauty dropped as well, although my mind of fear has vanished because of sleeping beauty, now I sense some sort of distance of a cold shoulder as if a glacier starts to melt instantaneously, out of no where, she floods quietly, my mind with subtle stances of hatred. It becomes all so confusing in these times, not sure what it’s all about.
Attempting neutral chats of unimportant conversation, seems to only work in momentary fashion, a fashion that we seem to both agree is quickly going out of style, so I am not sure why I continue to push an effort, the result just equates the same.
Maybe my efforts, based on the fact or concepts of a dream, dreaming that I would never meet someone like you, in a world like this. I can have these wicked dreams, with my eyes wide open, while sleeping beauty sits in a blank gaze starting at the crowded streets, cars honking vicariously through our veins.
Out efforts with whatever it is we do, can only be kept going with failure or success, by our drive and determination, we all have our own; mine is sleeping beauty. Symbols of mixed meanings can cause someone to go crazy, but maybe that crazy is what I seek from sleeping beauty.
She sleeps so calmly, lying there in quiet passion with her back exposed showing her freshly sun made bronze tan…
TO BE CONTINUED
Continued from previous entry
It came to me, during a bout of what was meant to be the conclude of a festive finish, but lightening struck down upon my soul, thinking the rain possibly pouring down, losing all sense of living in a first world society. I was afraid.
Fearing only the worst, why do our minds, seem to only manifest the worst, but when in most scenarios the worst rarely ever occurs. But like the norm, I reacted in the worst, dropping to the floor of the urine soaked thrash littered pavement that filled and drove the sin throughout the south American streets, what was done, was without the sun.
I felt like a lost dog, scrounging for a bone, lost from home, looking for my bone. Eventually I gave up my search in despair, being taken in, sleeping beauty woke up, to me shining a bright light of joy, her smile was like the sun, shining brightly, keeping me sane, she knew exactly what I was feeling, she came down from the sky, she said all the right things, she made it all go away.
It seems though, just as the breeze cleared, the pulse of sleeping beauty dropped as well, although my mind of fear has vanished because of sleeping beauty, now I sense some sort of distance of a cold shoulder as if a glacier starts to melt instantaneously, out of no where, she floods quietly, my mind with subtle stances of hatred. It becomes all so confusing in these times, not sure what it’s all about.
Attempting neutral chats of unimportant conversation, seems to only work in momentary fashion, a fashion that we seem to both agree is quickly going out of style, so I am not sure why I continue to push an effort, the result just equates the same.
Maybe my efforts, based on the fact or concepts of a dream, dreaming that I would never meet someone like you, in a world like this. I can have these wicked dreams, with my eyes wide open, while sleeping beauty sits in a blank gaze starting at the crowded streets, cars honking vicariously through our veins.
Out efforts with whatever it is we do, can only be kept going with failure or success, by our drive and determination, we all have our own; mine is sleeping beauty. Symbols of mixed meanings can cause someone to go crazy, but maybe that crazy is what I seek from sleeping beauty.
She sleeps so calmly, lying there in quiet passion with her back exposed showing her freshly sun made bronze tan…
TO BE CONTINUED
Friday, February 26, 2010
“Escape Us Sleeping Beauty” (Part 1 of Free Writing Exercise) -
“Escape Us Sleeping Beauty” (Part 1 of Free Writing Exercise)
Hearing the summer drops of rain all my life falling down, up, right, left and all around but still trying to decide what’s Real, maybe diamonds just don’t exist.
Not sure what’s gone wrong or just fearing not to call a sense of just to what’s right, only when things fall apart, do we look for in panic, justification. Maybe we can find real, in Rio…so we jumped on a jet plane and flew south of the boarder.
Sometimes we can be so blind to our issues, problems, and to our lives that we just block them from the perceptions of our visions. I wonder if that’s why people enjoy traveling, to mask the unhappiness of their current lives. To avoid any of the reality that manifest in the present, but the truth is, running from issues does not seem to silence them, only pauses them temporarily. So why venture on a journey of traveling? Well some people seem to say the beauty of the destination, but the irony is that most people don’t bother to praise the beauty within their own home; it’s just something to justify the travels.
There must be something, I am missing, well I suppose traveling alone for a moment can provide clarity if in short aspects. Traveling with one or more can strengthen emotional bonds with people quickly, it’s a journey together and, that is an experience you will have for eternity.
So maybe escaping sleeping beauty, is a travel to awaken that emotional experience with sleeping beauty, to unlock that smile that makes my world full of sunshine, so I let her fly off in a strange place, momentarily to fly back to the nest from sleeping beauty’s own journey, a journey of masks and chaos.
I am not fully aware of what traveling is about, but this idea is what seems to be the only valid and logical explanation, lol, well at least I am getting time to free write. Smiling to the notion and stepping away from the moments of everyday reality, hoping to search for a pause, to gain an understanding of what’s truly and deeply important in your life.
I sit still, hearing the samba drums play loudly but calmly, gazing at sleeping beauty, glancing over at her smile, as she rest behind the softness of a pillow in complete relaxation.
So traveling can be meditative, I’ve learned to understand, and motivate.
In our journeys, sometimes chapters of drama, pain, and violence occur. Sometimes these chapters can be catalysts for exposing much more important truths of symbolism, these chapters can foreshadow for the dreams and desires of the future.
TO BE CONTINUED…
Hearing the summer drops of rain all my life falling down, up, right, left and all around but still trying to decide what’s Real, maybe diamonds just don’t exist.
Not sure what’s gone wrong or just fearing not to call a sense of just to what’s right, only when things fall apart, do we look for in panic, justification. Maybe we can find real, in Rio…so we jumped on a jet plane and flew south of the boarder.
Sometimes we can be so blind to our issues, problems, and to our lives that we just block them from the perceptions of our visions. I wonder if that’s why people enjoy traveling, to mask the unhappiness of their current lives. To avoid any of the reality that manifest in the present, but the truth is, running from issues does not seem to silence them, only pauses them temporarily. So why venture on a journey of traveling? Well some people seem to say the beauty of the destination, but the irony is that most people don’t bother to praise the beauty within their own home; it’s just something to justify the travels.
There must be something, I am missing, well I suppose traveling alone for a moment can provide clarity if in short aspects. Traveling with one or more can strengthen emotional bonds with people quickly, it’s a journey together and, that is an experience you will have for eternity.
So maybe escaping sleeping beauty, is a travel to awaken that emotional experience with sleeping beauty, to unlock that smile that makes my world full of sunshine, so I let her fly off in a strange place, momentarily to fly back to the nest from sleeping beauty’s own journey, a journey of masks and chaos.
I am not fully aware of what traveling is about, but this idea is what seems to be the only valid and logical explanation, lol, well at least I am getting time to free write. Smiling to the notion and stepping away from the moments of everyday reality, hoping to search for a pause, to gain an understanding of what’s truly and deeply important in your life.
I sit still, hearing the samba drums play loudly but calmly, gazing at sleeping beauty, glancing over at her smile, as she rest behind the softness of a pillow in complete relaxation.
So traveling can be meditative, I’ve learned to understand, and motivate.
In our journeys, sometimes chapters of drama, pain, and violence occur. Sometimes these chapters can be catalysts for exposing much more important truths of symbolism, these chapters can foreshadow for the dreams and desires of the future.
TO BE CONTINUED…
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Resolutions For The New Year Are For Idiots
Resolutions For The New Year Are For Idiots
Glancing into a window of the past year and into the glass of the new year is always a time of reflection upon one self, and upon the friends and family that you feel a constant contact with, and as you start that new year, you start that journey to fix and alter the ways of your relationships, careers, health, and happiness.
You know how some people create these grand and glorious ideas of a new years resolution, and they do it, maybe you, for just a few weeks or let’s get crazy and say a few months, just to stop cold turkey at continuing the resolution, only to ditch the idea all together until the next year pops up, just to make the same damn resolution. These new years resolutions are for idiots.
Happiness in your life is what’s most important and making a wholehearted conscious effort in achieving that is what truly is important as you glance through that glass window for what lays ahead in this coming year. One must realize that everything is connected by emotion and state of mind from your job to your relationship, it’s all bound by the same thing, you.
You control your happiness, you control the way you feel, you control your future, and you control you.
Erase your so called rules if you are not happy, if you do not remove those rules you will never be able to seek out the best things that will make you happy. If you are unhappy in one realm of your life, you will take that unhappiness into another realm of your life unconsciously, as some things we just aren’t aware of unless we press our faces against the glass, but if we do so, the image becomes blurry to a sense of blindness.
Focus
If you are unhappy at the place that pays your bills, quit, because that unhappiness will be brought forward to other aspects of your life, say if you have kids, you will present that work unhappiness towards them or just place it within their realm, energy and vibes may sound crazy but it truly exists, and if you don’t understand this you will never be happy. If you are constantly arguing with your “loved one” well you are not in love, but more importantly you will bring and carry that resentment and unhappiness to other segments of your life, you must breakup.
Find and figure out that root of unhappiness this year if it does exist and simply cut it away from your life. It will be hard at first but in the long run, you will gain that happiness or at least be staring out the correct window.
If this means doing something drastic like quitting your job and flying across the universe to the big apple, just do it, only you know, what can make you happy, it’s going to be a great year, so make it one and take a little walk each day as being apart of nature gives you a little peace.
Visit
http://www.lovesickdiaries.com
Glancing into a window of the past year and into the glass of the new year is always a time of reflection upon one self, and upon the friends and family that you feel a constant contact with, and as you start that new year, you start that journey to fix and alter the ways of your relationships, careers, health, and happiness.
You know how some people create these grand and glorious ideas of a new years resolution, and they do it, maybe you, for just a few weeks or let’s get crazy and say a few months, just to stop cold turkey at continuing the resolution, only to ditch the idea all together until the next year pops up, just to make the same damn resolution. These new years resolutions are for idiots.
Happiness in your life is what’s most important and making a wholehearted conscious effort in achieving that is what truly is important as you glance through that glass window for what lays ahead in this coming year. One must realize that everything is connected by emotion and state of mind from your job to your relationship, it’s all bound by the same thing, you.
You control your happiness, you control the way you feel, you control your future, and you control you.
Erase your so called rules if you are not happy, if you do not remove those rules you will never be able to seek out the best things that will make you happy. If you are unhappy in one realm of your life, you will take that unhappiness into another realm of your life unconsciously, as some things we just aren’t aware of unless we press our faces against the glass, but if we do so, the image becomes blurry to a sense of blindness.
Focus
If you are unhappy at the place that pays your bills, quit, because that unhappiness will be brought forward to other aspects of your life, say if you have kids, you will present that work unhappiness towards them or just place it within their realm, energy and vibes may sound crazy but it truly exists, and if you don’t understand this you will never be happy. If you are constantly arguing with your “loved one” well you are not in love, but more importantly you will bring and carry that resentment and unhappiness to other segments of your life, you must breakup.
Find and figure out that root of unhappiness this year if it does exist and simply cut it away from your life. It will be hard at first but in the long run, you will gain that happiness or at least be staring out the correct window.
If this means doing something drastic like quitting your job and flying across the universe to the big apple, just do it, only you know, what can make you happy, it’s going to be a great year, so make it one and take a little walk each day as being apart of nature gives you a little peace.
Visit
http://www.lovesickdiaries.com
Thursday, January 7, 2010
Are you a “Realistic Romantic”?
Are you a “Realistic Romantic”?
Ever been in the situation of dating someone for a month, and than that person proposes to you? Do you believe love is something that comes natural or something you have to work at? When you want to share all your time with someone, do you feel that is love or obsession? Do you feel that it’s impossible not to fall in love with your soul mate or do you feel there are many right people for you out there in the world?
These are some of the questions to ask yourself, in route to determination whether or not you are a romantic or a realist. Most people seem to fall on one side or the other, occasionally venturing somewhere in the middle ground of cupids land. This middle ground is what my friend Janet Nam defines as someone that understands reality but has the ideals of and about love; a “Realistic Romantic”.
Wanting to believe that first kiss, that tightly held hug could be the last one, that feeling that nobody else around you exists, nothing else exists except your love for one another…well that’s a romantic. Playing it safe and only kissing and touching one another behind closed doors, for reasons of not wanting to make the people around you uncomfortable, or not really making an effort to hug every time you separate from one another, well that’s a realist.
There is no right or wrong answer with either approach to your relationship. Your ideology and philosophy in love and relationships is right no matter which it is, as long as you are honest and truthful to yourself and together. By no means is the concept of “Realistic Romantic” anything new, as people have been participating in this ideology for some time now, but there has not been a term or acknowledgement of this ideology of love.
Sigmund Freud was a “Realistic Romantic” and although he never really knew or connected the thoughts that he was, I am guessing he probably would have if he were alive longer. The reasoning behind my assumption is that being a “Realistic Romantic” means and deals with diving heavily into the issues of self thought psychoanalysis. Being a romantic is considered as being illogical, as a realist is considered as being logical, but the decisive rules of these are meshed together a “Realistic Romantic”.
In normal circumstances repression hides within the realm of unconsciousness, but in the case of a “Realistic Romantic” the ideals of repression become obsolete as the impulses of being a romantic are consciously present, visually controlling your mental state only to be in a battlefield of constraint with reality. This person will subconsciously perform minor actions and display traits of a romantic, but the extent of these romantic actions are subconsciously halted by the brakes of ego performing a reality check. That little control of stopping is a self-reassurance, and for the “Realistic Romantic” might initially feel like mental suffering but after applying words and conversation to the wounds, it is now transformed into pleasure.
In a narcissist approach the ego prevents this person from letting go completely in displaying the romance, but mentally the visual picture of this romance was created and lived into action, but in the reality of it, the ego stopped it from completion. The stop is to protect you from possibly looking unordinary, protection of the person’s life, family, community, culture, and friends. This person’s mind operates in a fashion that desire uncontrollable liberation with the person you love, but understand the responsibilities of the outside world, reality.
The “Realistic Romantic” is the new hybrid of romance, constant internal up and downs between romance and reality, mental happiness and suffering sadness, constantly thinking about all the romantic actions, plans, and situations that they are wanting to do for there loved one, and most of the time portions of those actions are done but never finished as how it was visually seen in the mind.
It is something new, but something interesting
Visit
http://www.lovesickdiaries.com
Ever been in the situation of dating someone for a month, and than that person proposes to you? Do you believe love is something that comes natural or something you have to work at? When you want to share all your time with someone, do you feel that is love or obsession? Do you feel that it’s impossible not to fall in love with your soul mate or do you feel there are many right people for you out there in the world?
These are some of the questions to ask yourself, in route to determination whether or not you are a romantic or a realist. Most people seem to fall on one side or the other, occasionally venturing somewhere in the middle ground of cupids land. This middle ground is what my friend Janet Nam defines as someone that understands reality but has the ideals of and about love; a “Realistic Romantic”.
Wanting to believe that first kiss, that tightly held hug could be the last one, that feeling that nobody else around you exists, nothing else exists except your love for one another…well that’s a romantic. Playing it safe and only kissing and touching one another behind closed doors, for reasons of not wanting to make the people around you uncomfortable, or not really making an effort to hug every time you separate from one another, well that’s a realist.
There is no right or wrong answer with either approach to your relationship. Your ideology and philosophy in love and relationships is right no matter which it is, as long as you are honest and truthful to yourself and together. By no means is the concept of “Realistic Romantic” anything new, as people have been participating in this ideology for some time now, but there has not been a term or acknowledgement of this ideology of love.
Sigmund Freud was a “Realistic Romantic” and although he never really knew or connected the thoughts that he was, I am guessing he probably would have if he were alive longer. The reasoning behind my assumption is that being a “Realistic Romantic” means and deals with diving heavily into the issues of self thought psychoanalysis. Being a romantic is considered as being illogical, as a realist is considered as being logical, but the decisive rules of these are meshed together a “Realistic Romantic”.
In normal circumstances repression hides within the realm of unconsciousness, but in the case of a “Realistic Romantic” the ideals of repression become obsolete as the impulses of being a romantic are consciously present, visually controlling your mental state only to be in a battlefield of constraint with reality. This person will subconsciously perform minor actions and display traits of a romantic, but the extent of these romantic actions are subconsciously halted by the brakes of ego performing a reality check. That little control of stopping is a self-reassurance, and for the “Realistic Romantic” might initially feel like mental suffering but after applying words and conversation to the wounds, it is now transformed into pleasure.
In a narcissist approach the ego prevents this person from letting go completely in displaying the romance, but mentally the visual picture of this romance was created and lived into action, but in the reality of it, the ego stopped it from completion. The stop is to protect you from possibly looking unordinary, protection of the person’s life, family, community, culture, and friends. This person’s mind operates in a fashion that desire uncontrollable liberation with the person you love, but understand the responsibilities of the outside world, reality.
The “Realistic Romantic” is the new hybrid of romance, constant internal up and downs between romance and reality, mental happiness and suffering sadness, constantly thinking about all the romantic actions, plans, and situations that they are wanting to do for there loved one, and most of the time portions of those actions are done but never finished as how it was visually seen in the mind.
It is something new, but something interesting
Visit
http://www.lovesickdiaries.com
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